Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Out of Shape!!!!

I have to keep reminding myself that I did just have a baby 5 1/2 weeks ago! I feel great! I've been walking everyday and even with my lack of sleep I have plenty of energy!
I was so excited to start back at Hot Yoga last night! It has been WAY too long! When I tried Hot Yoga 3 years ago I was immediately hooked!  I went to this amazing little studio, Yoga Energy in Florida about 2 times a week.  Yoga has always been my way of finding myself again after a hard days work or just a lot going on in my life that is out of my control. But Hot Yoga was on a whole other level! Hot Yoga is a regular Yoga workout but in a room that is 100 to 105 degrees. You literally feel like you are going to die while you're doing it the first few times, but you get used to it and it gets easier. You have so much energy afterwards its almost like you took a magical pill to give you copious amounts of energy! Not to mention you are literally drenched from head to toe in sweat and you're releasing so many yucky toxins! It's super hard but relaxing at the same time. It's not for everyone but I would definitely recommend at least trying it once in your life!

Anyway, I was so happy to finally find a Hot Yoga studio here in Hawaii to get started back as it has been over a year since i've been! Hot Yoga Nimitz only offers Hot classes. It is a small studio with one room. The studio is super nice and is the first studio I've ever been too with a locker room and showers. Shocking. Throughout the session, I started to realize that my body was definitely no where near the shape it was the last time I had done Hot Yoga. I could barely do some of the basic poses without having to come out of them early. My flexibility was almost non-existent.  My balance was so offset I could hardly stand still on one foot. Probably because I was full of milk on one side and empty on the other(I knew I should have pumped before I left the house). My breathing was loud and labored and I couldn't focus! It was embarrassing. No one there knew I had just had a baby and I felt the pressure to be as good as everyone else in the room but I was definitely not! For a few minutes I felt ashamed of my body. Why haven't I bounced back yet? I feel great! I've already lost the majority of my pregnancy weight and with only 8 pounds left to pre pregnancy weight I thought I was right back where I was before. NOT EVEN CLOSE! I wasn't in the best shape of my life before I got pregnant but I loved Yoga and I was really good at it! I had even mastered my half-moon pose! But last night I looked like a big ol gorilla trying to stand like a flamingo! Wobbly and all over the place!  
To add some humor to my night, it was a good thing I did the HOT Yoga because I was sweating so much, thank goodness no one could tell I was leaking! I fed Peyton just before I left but as soon as we started doing floor poses and attempting to lay on my chest I swear you would thought someone was "milking" me like a cow. It was everywhere! How embarrassing right? Luckily it looked like I was just sweating ALOT. I had a good laugh at that on my way home at least. Smelling of sweat and milk. Delicious right?
Being proud of my post pregnancy body is difficult for me. I am proud that I delivered naturally without pain medicine. I am proud that I carried a baby to full-term, I have the stretch marks to prove it.  But realizing i'm not going to bounce back like I had hoped isn't easy. 
It is going to take time and a lot of dedication on my part but I am not going to sacrifice time with my daughter to do so. I see these celebrity mom's that look amazing just weeks after they deliver than they did before they got pregnant and it just makes me sick because I know they have a personal trainer with them all day long to tell them what to eat and how to work out and kicking their ass, but they aren't spending time with their baby. There are days I realize I haven't eaten breakfast and its time for dinner. When I walk, I walk with my baby. She loves being carried and loves being outside. Luckily our neighborhood is huge with a lot of sidewalks to walk on. 

Ok well I think I was just frustrated last night and felt a little down after yoga and I needed to vent. I know I'll get back in shape it's just going to take awhile with some hard work and dedication!

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